A True Champion

　
I have always considered myself a good pugilist in my day. I am proud to say that I dodged when I should have and my defense was second to none. But I will also say that I never had that killer instinct that you need when battling a formidable foe. Maybe I needed a better trainer. Maybe I needed someone who could show me how to fight. Maybe I needed Marty.

Meet Marty E.

A 67 year old fighter who has had more emotional spikes than the great majority of us will, or could, ever endure.

To begin with, at age 44, she was separated from her husband but found emotional stability with her 15 year old son. Although anxiety was a daily curse now because of her new, single motherhood, Marty was blessed that her boy was coping better than she was at times. Shortly after this breakup, she was diagnosed with beast cancer. Because of the immense mental and physical difficulties associated with this disease, Marty wanted to give her marriage one more go. Radiation and a partial mastectomy were successfully performed, but regrettably, her marriage was not as successful and she found herself a single parent once again.

For the next few months, being a single mother was starting to ease its financial and emotional grip, with the fear of cancer on the back burner, behind her son. Then one day, she felt that grasp, pulling her back into those yesterdays of fear and uncertainty. Marty was diagnosed, again, with breast cancer. This time, she decided her treatment would be fast and furious. Enough so that this bothersome bandit had no where to hide. Radiation, chemotherapy and another partial mastectomy would surely loosen that recurring hold.

By 1994, it was agreed between Marty and her physician that she was cancer free. Even with 2 partial mastectomies, she had been given a reprieve and found herself doting on her son and looking for another love. A couple of different men entered her life, but for reasons that partly involved the results of her cancer bouts, Marty and her new beaus just couldn't make it work. It truly does take a special man to stumble along with a woman, yet make sure she doesn't fall. A man that wouldn't judge her for the physical wounds but how she tried to heal from the fight. .

Her high school reunion was in 2005 and boy did she have stories of victories to tell. While enjoying seeing her graduating class again, someone from her earlier life remembered her vividly. His name was Phil and his memories of Marty stretched back to Junior High. They spent a great deal of time talking, reminiscing and she simply loved the feeling of smiling. She remembers in short, "We danced.....and he felt good". Although something sparked, it would not be for another four years that they would reconnect. Marty recalls that on August 31, her phone rang and yup, it was him.

"We talked for hours! Such joy for us. He came to see me in Pittsburgh for my birthday on October 1, then I visited him in Florida, where I always wanted to be. We were falling in love."

Sweet love, unfortunately at times, needs to be proven. Would Phil stick around if Marty was ever diagnosed again? Did he have the fortitude to cope with his new, sweet love if cancer ever returned? Could he accept her with some physical anomalies that would only be visible if intimacy evolved? Does he know a woman is more than each part separately? Or can he truly see the sum of all parts? In essence, can he love? Truly love?

October, 2010. Marty was selling her home and getting ready to move to Florida to be with Phil and hopefully answer these questions. But cancer returned, lung cancer. With a renewed vigor, she vowed to take care of it as quickly as possible, and with her new-found support, no matter how far away he was, she was on the plane. "My dream!", she recalls. "I got a condo on the the beach, on the sand for a year! Oh what fun! I spent the weekends with Phil. After a year, he asked me to move in with him. So I did!.....happy girl! "

　

End of story. Life was good, wedded bliss soon to follow and the beach as the backdrop for the rest of her life.........until Valentines Day, 2014. Unbelievably, Marty found another lump in her breast yet again. "After all my history, my surgeon advised a double mastectomy.....so I did it without reconstruction". She goes on to explain...."radiation affects skin so it looses it's elasticity. Dear Phil took wonderful care of me..so much love!".

By January, this once in a lifetime man married her. "He is amazing. I survived 4 cancers, 3 breast. I amaze myself."

Marty's granddaughter, Toren, was her flower girl and with all the strength she amassed through her own ordeals, it was the tender innocence of Toren that showed her weak side. Toren was diagnosed with leukemia. "Her beautiful blond hair.....she never left my side." Toren will be continuing with chemotherapy until December, 2015. Although her immune system is suppressed for the time being, she is full of sprite, as are all children her age. She is full of love, as all around her are and Toren is full of hope, as we all should be.

Marty has found her niche, now, in life by supporting, and believing, in alternative medicine through acupuncture and essential oils being a distributor with http://www.youngliving.com/en_US/. 




 "So now I am again cancer free...I am currently making my own organic deodorant and body care products...my contribution!"

An Inspirational Family

Bonnie C.

Breast Cancer Survivor
 

Fate can be serendipitous and adverse, or both. 

Imagine this. A typical mother of two beautiful daughters and an extraordinary son, Bonnie's life was simply ordinary, yet soon to become exceptional. Although her mother was diagnosed with bilateral breast cancer at the age of 69, she herself had no symptoms nor signs of any such disposition, although the thought of genetics was constantly running amok in her mind. But being a single parent for 17 years in 1992 Ohio, there were present and 'real' parenting issues to attend to, not to mention that sweet reverie of a nice gentleman walking that 'yellow brick road'.....right to her doorstep.


At 44 years of age, she found Larry walking that road, dazzling her with sunshine and filling her heart with honest, contented and supportive love that would prove itself over and over again. Agog with new-found adoration from him and lasting affection from her family, fate would show one face that would be tested 7 weeks later. Bonnie would understand the innate fear her mother endured when she, herself, was diagnosed with breast cancer. Without apprehension, she had a lumpectomy and an axillary dissection, a standard procedure to examine and remove lymph nodes.

"I had the best support system with my children, mom, sister and Larry."


With this formidable support system, her mind became eased and her life became enriched. It wasn't long before Bonnie found Larry on bended knee and her son, Matt also became engaged.



"BUT, in September 1994, I had my 6 month mammogram and a lump was found. Two days later, a biopsy showed cancer again, second primary, no metastasis."



Bonnie continues, "I was devastated and frightened. I got several opinions and after discussions with my family and Larry, I chose to have a bilateral total mastectomy with no reconstruction. This was the right decision for me. Larry had said I was more than the sum of my breasts. "

With fortitude that obviously matched Bonnie's, Larry fulfilled his connubial commitment and married Bonnie on Valentines Day, 1995.

In 2004, knowing the high risk of cancer from her mother and grandmother, Bonnie's eldest daughter Jill opted to take the bold, and unselfish, step to reduce her chance of breast cancer by 90 % by having both of her breasts removed, even without initially testing positive AND with a new man in her life. After making this decision, she had an ultrasound and mammogram done, both of which were negative. One last test was done, an MRI. And wouldn't you know it, breast cancer was discovered. Talk about yet another face of fate!

By April, 2009, Jill's surgeon informed her that her ovaries would need to be removed because of the likelihood of ovarian cancer, directly attributed to her breast cancer. "Jill fought this and, because she didn't have the gene, so she felt safe. The doctor won and the ovaries were removed. The final pathology showed stage one ovarian cancer. This doctor had saved her life." A hysterectomy was soon to follow for other medical reasons.

A shout out must go to Chris, Jill's husband. Not only was he a true advocate for his wife, but for he entire family as well. He played as much of a deciding factor in the quality of Jill's life as any doctor could.

Enough is enough, wouldn't you think?

"In August of 2009, my daughter Tricia, age 40, decided to have a prophylactic double mastectomy. A mammogram and ultrasound were negative, but an MRI showed a suspicious area. When a biopsy was performed, it showed breast cancer. Tricia had a double mastectomy and had her ovaries out."









If there was ever such a family that deserves a tribute, it would be this steadfast family. I am in a haze of reverential wonderment for these brave women and the men who stood by them. To Bonnie's son, Matthew, and Larry, we salute and praise you for supporting all the loved ones around you who were struggling. To Bonnie, Jill and Tricia, we celebrate with you. There can be no more of a fitting epilogue to the struggles this entire family than to quote Bonnie in her correspondence with The Yankee Chef.


"My daughters and I feel blessed in many ways. Surround yourself with good and loving people. Appreciate everything. Hug your kids and your husband, yell less often, tell those you love that you love them. Every day I am reminded of two things when I look in the mirror. I am a woman without breasts , but more importantly I am a woman who survived breast cancer.....We are survivors. We want you all to be survivors. Know your bodies. Be pro-active. Ask questions. Be your own advocate. We feel blessed to have each day and each other and all of you".

 

Surviving

Every once in a while I would like to honor those who have survived breast cancer. This post will be one of many that I would like to share with everyone, and it gives me an opportunity to write in a way that I haven't attempted before. I have asked many breast cancer survivor groups to share their stories with me, not only for my blog, but for my new book being edited presently. I truly would like to hear from as many of you as possible as it relates to your story of survival as well as surviving siblings, spouses, children or parents whose family member couldn't win that frightful battle. Of course many of you know of my mothers struggle(Mary's cousin) with breast cancer, but her story will be told in my next cookbook that is dedicated to her and all survivors and those who could not survive breast cancer.
I would like to begin with another lady who is close to home as well.....

Meet Mary M G of Maine

Breast cancer Survivor- 1 year

Mary was born in 1965 to my great aunt Rita Barbara Meeks. Aunt Rita was my mothers' aunt and had a cancerous tumor removed from her breast while in her late 30s. She recovered, only to have cancer return in her kidney(which she had removed), lung(she also had removed) and esophagus. Aunt Rita died March 1, 1991 from the esophageal cancer and she is truly missed by all those who knew her. I often think about her as being joyous and comforting to us children when my Mom passed on.

Her daughter, Mary, my cousin, has endured tribulation as well from this devastating affliction. Although Mary led an active, fulfilling and cautious life, that other-worldly voice still found time to whisper in her ear that dreaded 'C' word. Rich, her husband of 26 years, doted on her as passionately as if on their first date.

It was the day he came home from another, solo mountaineering trip that his caring persistence paid off when he found a lump in her breast.Always the mountain climber, adventurer and caring father and husband, he knew of Mary's genetic susceptibility when it came to cancer and often double checked his wife's self-examination.
  "I'll never forget how his hand snapped back, like it touched something hot when he felt it.".

 Although Rich was concerned, Mary was hopeful that this oblong lump would disappear on its own, so she decided not to pursue another opinion, even though Rich was vehemently suggesting otherwise.

A few months later, because of a chest cold, she visited a doctor. After this checkup, and getting ready to leave, the physician asked her if she had any questions. She mentioned that her husband had found a lump and she may as well have it finally looked at if he had the time. Within 2 weeks, Mary, Rich and the rest of the family received word of her breast cancer.

She reflects "As soon as I heard it, a calm washed over me, tears fell silently, and my first thought was not why me, but why not me." After all, Mary's mother and her aunt died of cancer, and she had lost her brother from a different illness. "If I am cured through treatment, great. If I end up passing, then I was okay too because I would be in God's presence with Mom, Eddie, and everyone I loved that went before. "

Chemotherapy was ruled out as treatment for Mary, but she did have 2 surgeries to remove the tumor and lymph nodes, followed by 3 months of radiation treatment.

She survives today, cancer free, but not without her and her three children going through another tribulation. Her husband who had been so cautious, determined to never leave Mary's side throughout every doctors visit during those emotionally frightening days throughout her ordeal, was to be embraced by Mary's mother, aunts and brother before she would be reunited with them. Rich took one last adventure to the high mountains of Canada, all alone as he enjoyed. After failing to check in with his wife at a predetermined day and time, the Canadian government fount him on August 16, 2013, dangling from his climbing gear, unresponsive.

 

 

This day is significant in her family. It was Mary's mother's birthday and the same day of her cousins death from breast cancer.