My 12 year old son Thomas has been playing the violin now for a little over 3 years and he has a particular knack for this instrument, as any of my children would have had if they would have picked it up and given it a chance. No doubt each of them would have excelled as well and fast as Thomas is. Although this is a gift, it also leads to a dilemma that I truly believe is not of our making.
Here is my favorite picture of Thomas(holding the violin) and others who accompanied him to the Pine Tree Competition in 2023. Sascha Lorimer(the lady to his right)and Rob Lorimer(the gentleman in the blue shirt) have been and continue to be instrumental in his violin endeavors. Sascha is not only his maestro in the orchestra but is a profound mentor to him privately as well. Her husband, Rob, is also a dedicated fan and supporter of Thomas in ways that he will never understand.
Now don't get me wrong, I believe positive reinforcement is key to a childs growth and self worth. For example, if a child, and I mean a youngster under the age of around 14-15, plays for any sports team they should be given play time equal to all the other children regardless of their experience or affinity to the game. Good sportsmanship medals or recognition is a great way to encourage youngsters to continue with their dreams and allows them to believe they have a chance at greatness. Any recognition at all is a great boost to moral, plain and simple.
And then we have the cases of gifted children. No, this is not coming from a biased parent or a misplaced sense of grandiose. Thomas is truly gifted as his a 14 year old friend of his who excels at the cello. Each has an uphill struggle for identification and their place. Sure, Thomas has a great chance at being first chair in the Bangor Symphony Youth Orchestra this season but he is constantly playing in quartets, chamber groups and his schools band that include children who are far below his level of playing. Some music teachers will say that it helps the other students with their playing and I do agree to a point. Thomas has helped others with their violin playing many times over and has endured playing with children less advanced than he is for 2 years now but now it is time for him to stop up and truly be challenged. He needs to be with older children that can now "teach" him or be his inspiration.
What could possibly be the reason for certain music school directors, teachers, conductors, mentors and others "in the lead" to NOT place him in such a group? Are they afraid of singling out one student over the other? And are they trying to put all violinists of his age together, regardless of skill? To me, this is wrong on so many levels. Thomas could easily play with teens, even advanced teens but he has not been given the opportunity. This is problematic because it keeps him down, which is extraordinarily unfair and detrimental to his growth as a musician.
"We didn't know of his skill" could be one answer if I were to ask this question. To me, I believe this is an excuse because there is only one way of determining a child's skill(as in any sports team) and that is to listen to them play a variety of pieces that show his musicality, much as a try-out for a sports team. If Thomas were to go up to the coach of a football team, after having been sitting on the bench, and ask him why he isn't playing and not to have been given a chance to show the coach what he can and cannot do, and ask "Why can't I play?", what would be the wise answer? The coach should be drilling the child to see his skillset. The same goes for playing the violin. A teacher or coach should make determinations based on observation and intelligent dissemination of that childs skills, NOT on age alone.
So here we have Thomas and his cellist friend who are consistently playing music far below their level simply because of their age rather than their skills. There is NOTHING in this type of judgement that enables someone to grow....period!
There, I am done ranting and would love to hear from any of your parents that are in the same boat.
