"My name is Beija B.....

…..and I am a survivor of breast cancer. I was diagnosed at 48 years old in Feb. of 2012 with an aggressive form of cancer which my Doctor had called Her2 positive Stage 1 in my left breast. "

It all began when this beautiful young lady started experiencing pain and tightness in her chest, around her heart in particular. But these episodes were sporadic at the beginning, recurring more often, and with more intensity, as the months progressed. Three months later, Beija came down with the flu. No biggie, but when she found that both were causing her too much to deal with, it was time to visit her physician.

Doing a full work up on her, the doctor saw no concern with her health, although her blood cell count was a little off, this could easily be attributed to the flu. Feeling somewhat relieved, Beija decided she may as well have a mammogram performed. Going home and feeling a little better, both physically and emotionally, Beija decided to stop procrastinating and get current with her mammograms. She had put it off for 2 years because of her busy lifestyle and other health issues.

So the week following her doctors appointment, she had it done. Of course there was nervousness pinching Beija's mind with regards to the results of this scan, but she was more concerned at what she could accomplish with what was left after the test on this Monday.

A mammography was performed, she had tidied herself up and now was waiting in this somewhat claustrophobic room for the nurse to discharge her. Within 10 minutes, the nurse reappeared asking Beija for another scan. She needed a more complete evaluation before this appointment was over. Once finished, and taking a moment or two looking at the image, the nurse requested the doctor on-call to evaluate.

Routine? Must be! Nervous? Of course!

It wasn't long before the image was scrutinized by the professional. As if the world stopped immediately, the doctor "explains to me that the finding on the imaging is a mass that could possibly be cancer. At that point I felt my whole life changing just by him mentioning the word cancer!"

Within a week of that tentative diagnoses, it was unfortunately confirmed through a biopsy. And within a week of that, Beija was on the table being prepped for surgery to remove the tumor that was pushing toward her heart. This explained the tightness and twinges of pain she had been experiencing in her chest. Because of the position of the tumor, Beija was able to decide between a lumpectomy or full removal of her breast. She chose the lumpectomy. As fast as her life stopped from hearing of this cancer, she could now begin to live again. Recoup, regroup and catch up. Two weeks later, a routine scan was performed in order to confirm the success of the operation. That one step forward, took one leap back when two more tumors showed up in the same area.

So back to the table and a second lumpectomy. This time, after a short healing process, the resulting scan showed Beija to be cancer free. But certainly she couldn't rest on her laurels. Her endurance would be tested through monthly chemo and blood transfusions, and it wasn't long before she was feeling, and seeing, the effects of these treatments.

Although she was losing her hair and dealing with sickness and nausea every day, she found strength and love in her "chemo buddies", even exchanging ideas on eating habits that could be tolerated throughout her tenure of treatments. "Even trying to eat a grape tasted like metal."

One of her "chemo buddies" offered pizza as the answer and what do you know? Even though she was still feeling ill, at least she found something that didn't taste like metal. " Needless to say, I had eaten a lot of pizza during my months of chemo!"

Completing chemo, followed by radiation and effects associated with these as well as other physical tribulations, Beija became a survivor.

　

"All during my cancer battle, I was providing personal care every day and all day to my live-in 83 year old mother Patricia, who had dementia....[I was also a single mother of 12 year old boy Dexter, both pictured below}.....My mother passed away in October, 2013. It was my mother, my best friend, who was the reason for me staying strong and surviving this dreadful disease."

Because of this strength her mother gave her, Beija used this same fortitude to care for her mother until her last breath.

Mother knows best! Mother's intuition! Both adages proving true.

I could sit here and write page upon page of a fitting, and poetical, epilogue to finish Beija's story and some may hit home while others may seem dramatic. But unless you have endured the physical scars of this disease, unless you have become stronger in ways only cancer survivors can relate to, then my words would be general, vague and simply for dramatic purposes. So I would like to end this story in Beija's own words. After all, who is better qualified to write the epilogue to your own story?

"The inability to deal with the after effects that are left behind…emotionally, financially, physically, and even socially. Only to be told you are a 'Hero' from the scars of your battle. The time it takes to rebuild yourself to become stronger. The many medical appointments to be had…just to reevaluate and cure the damage that was left behind. I’m a hero to no one but myself, but I’m a survivor among the many.

I’m a hero to no one but myself.....[although this author lovingly disagrees]

.....but I’m a survivor among the many. "

An Inspirational Family

Bonnie C.

Breast Cancer Survivor
 

Fate can be serendipitous and adverse, or both. 

Imagine this. A typical mother of two beautiful daughters and an extraordinary son, Bonnie's life was simply ordinary, yet soon to become exceptional. Although her mother was diagnosed with bilateral breast cancer at the age of 69, she herself had no symptoms nor signs of any such disposition, although the thought of genetics was constantly running amok in her mind. But being a single parent for 17 years in 1992 Ohio, there were present and 'real' parenting issues to attend to, not to mention that sweet reverie of a nice gentleman walking that 'yellow brick road'.....right to her doorstep.


At 44 years of age, she found Larry walking that road, dazzling her with sunshine and filling her heart with honest, contented and supportive love that would prove itself over and over again. Agog with new-found adoration from him and lasting affection from her family, fate would show one face that would be tested 7 weeks later. Bonnie would understand the innate fear her mother endured when she, herself, was diagnosed with breast cancer. Without apprehension, she had a lumpectomy and an axillary dissection, a standard procedure to examine and remove lymph nodes.

"I had the best support system with my children, mom, sister and Larry."


With this formidable support system, her mind became eased and her life became enriched. It wasn't long before Bonnie found Larry on bended knee and her son, Matt also became engaged.



"BUT, in September 1994, I had my 6 month mammogram and a lump was found. Two days later, a biopsy showed cancer again, second primary, no metastasis."



Bonnie continues, "I was devastated and frightened. I got several opinions and after discussions with my family and Larry, I chose to have a bilateral total mastectomy with no reconstruction. This was the right decision for me. Larry had said I was more than the sum of my breasts. "

With fortitude that obviously matched Bonnie's, Larry fulfilled his connubial commitment and married Bonnie on Valentines Day, 1995.

In 2004, knowing the high risk of cancer from her mother and grandmother, Bonnie's eldest daughter Jill opted to take the bold, and unselfish, step to reduce her chance of breast cancer by 90 % by having both of her breasts removed, even without initially testing positive AND with a new man in her life. After making this decision, she had an ultrasound and mammogram done, both of which were negative. One last test was done, an MRI. And wouldn't you know it, breast cancer was discovered. Talk about yet another face of fate!

By April, 2009, Jill's surgeon informed her that her ovaries would need to be removed because of the likelihood of ovarian cancer, directly attributed to her breast cancer. "Jill fought this and, because she didn't have the gene, so she felt safe. The doctor won and the ovaries were removed. The final pathology showed stage one ovarian cancer. This doctor had saved her life." A hysterectomy was soon to follow for other medical reasons.

A shout out must go to Chris, Jill's husband. Not only was he a true advocate for his wife, but for he entire family as well. He played as much of a deciding factor in the quality of Jill's life as any doctor could.

Enough is enough, wouldn't you think?

"In August of 2009, my daughter Tricia, age 40, decided to have a prophylactic double mastectomy. A mammogram and ultrasound were negative, but an MRI showed a suspicious area. When a biopsy was performed, it showed breast cancer. Tricia had a double mastectomy and had her ovaries out."









If there was ever such a family that deserves a tribute, it would be this steadfast family. I am in a haze of reverential wonderment for these brave women and the men who stood by them. To Bonnie's son, Matthew, and Larry, we salute and praise you for supporting all the loved ones around you who were struggling. To Bonnie, Jill and Tricia, we celebrate with you. There can be no more of a fitting epilogue to the struggles this entire family than to quote Bonnie in her correspondence with The Yankee Chef.


"My daughters and I feel blessed in many ways. Surround yourself with good and loving people. Appreciate everything. Hug your kids and your husband, yell less often, tell those you love that you love them. Every day I am reminded of two things when I look in the mirror. I am a woman without breasts , but more importantly I am a woman who survived breast cancer.....We are survivors. We want you all to be survivors. Know your bodies. Be pro-active. Ask questions. Be your own advocate. We feel blessed to have each day and each other and all of you".

 

Surviving

Every once in a while I would like to honor those who have survived breast cancer. This post will be one of many that I would like to share with everyone, and it gives me an opportunity to write in a way that I haven't attempted before. I have asked many breast cancer survivor groups to share their stories with me, not only for my blog, but for my new book being edited presently. I truly would like to hear from as many of you as possible as it relates to your story of survival as well as surviving siblings, spouses, children or parents whose family member couldn't win that frightful battle. Of course many of you know of my mothers struggle(Mary's cousin) with breast cancer, but her story will be told in my next cookbook that is dedicated to her and all survivors and those who could not survive breast cancer.
I would like to begin with another lady who is close to home as well.....

Meet Mary M G of Maine

Breast cancer Survivor- 1 year

Mary was born in 1965 to my great aunt Rita Barbara Meeks. Aunt Rita was my mothers' aunt and had a cancerous tumor removed from her breast while in her late 30s. She recovered, only to have cancer return in her kidney(which she had removed), lung(she also had removed) and esophagus. Aunt Rita died March 1, 1991 from the esophageal cancer and she is truly missed by all those who knew her. I often think about her as being joyous and comforting to us children when my Mom passed on.

Her daughter, Mary, my cousin, has endured tribulation as well from this devastating affliction. Although Mary led an active, fulfilling and cautious life, that other-worldly voice still found time to whisper in her ear that dreaded 'C' word. Rich, her husband of 26 years, doted on her as passionately as if on their first date.

It was the day he came home from another, solo mountaineering trip that his caring persistence paid off when he found a lump in her breast.Always the mountain climber, adventurer and caring father and husband, he knew of Mary's genetic susceptibility when it came to cancer and often double checked his wife's self-examination.
  "I'll never forget how his hand snapped back, like it touched something hot when he felt it.".

 Although Rich was concerned, Mary was hopeful that this oblong lump would disappear on its own, so she decided not to pursue another opinion, even though Rich was vehemently suggesting otherwise.

A few months later, because of a chest cold, she visited a doctor. After this checkup, and getting ready to leave, the physician asked her if she had any questions. She mentioned that her husband had found a lump and she may as well have it finally looked at if he had the time. Within 2 weeks, Mary, Rich and the rest of the family received word of her breast cancer.

She reflects "As soon as I heard it, a calm washed over me, tears fell silently, and my first thought was not why me, but why not me." After all, Mary's mother and her aunt died of cancer, and she had lost her brother from a different illness. "If I am cured through treatment, great. If I end up passing, then I was okay too because I would be in God's presence with Mom, Eddie, and everyone I loved that went before. "

Chemotherapy was ruled out as treatment for Mary, but she did have 2 surgeries to remove the tumor and lymph nodes, followed by 3 months of radiation treatment.

She survives today, cancer free, but not without her and her three children going through another tribulation. Her husband who had been so cautious, determined to never leave Mary's side throughout every doctors visit during those emotionally frightening days throughout her ordeal, was to be embraced by Mary's mother, aunts and brother before she would be reunited with them. Rich took one last adventure to the high mountains of Canada, all alone as he enjoyed. After failing to check in with his wife at a predetermined day and time, the Canadian government fount him on August 16, 2013, dangling from his climbing gear, unresponsive.

 

 

This day is significant in her family. It was Mary's mother's birthday and the same day of her cousins death from breast cancer.