Saturday, November 16, 2013


First off, I want to apologize for not contributing to my blog as much as I have in the past. With my new website, I simply haven't had the time to sit back and just plain write on a personal level. I am also not the kind that enjoys talking about myself or even writing on a personal level, but there are more people than I thought that enjoys reading Those types of posts.

I titled this post Blameless because it does lead into the theme of this discussion, albeit in a round about way. My Dad, the second Yankee Chef, Jack Bailey(1938-2001) and I talked about so much on our down time. He was the only one I could sit down with and really discuss subjects that were thought provoking and just plain fun. Anything from extra-terrestials to food to love to.....anything really!

I remember before he passed he told me that he was glad he wouldn't be around much longer because our country was fast becoming a "blameless society". He was referring to a many different things(we having just had one of those special chats that lasted many hours) but mostly about how more and more people were 'entitled'. If you didn't like the word Christmas, you could easily have it expunged from a schools curriculum. If you walked out into traffic and get hit, YOU could sue and win, regardless if YOU were the one breaking the law in the first place. You could be in a deplorable social condition, but expect the government to take care of your needs without attempting to improve your own life.

This list goes on and on, and new laws are being enacted and passed based on these desires, making our world seem as though more and more of our freedom is being taken away every day. And in essence they are, all because of those who declare themselves blameless.

I recommend a few things, as did my Dad. If you don't like the word Christmas, you don't have to! The word Christmas is simply a way of people to exude their love of the season and to spread merriment. Regardless if you believe Christ was born and should be celebrated during this time of year, others do. Offended? You shouldn't be offended, because others have joy in their heart! If I believed in any other religion and expressed my joy that conformed to that religion, I would NEVER expect everyone to agree with me, but it certainly would never cause me to bring others down to make myself feel better(and I do believe there is a psychological term for that).

Take a look around you and notice those in need. I can tell you first hand that there was a time in my life that is both embarrassing and hurtful. I was homeless, no (or very little) food and just plain distraught. I didn't have the best home even when I worked, at times. BUT...I tried. I always had a great work ethic and I truly tried. There were times that I let liquor rule my actions in the way of truly understanding the meaning of responsibility. All I cared about was partying and having fun. And I suppose it is ingrained when you are younger, regardless of what your parents taught you. BUT.....I never blamed anyone else other than myself. I didn't go around saying "The economy is bad" or "There isn't a job around that pays enough". I preach all the time even today that I would shovel horse&*#% if I had to in order to put food on the table .  Those times were MY fault because of MY bad choices, not because of anything or anyone else!

You wouldn't believe how many people I have hired over the years that WERE homeless. Heck, I even went to the homeless shelters personally to hire, only to be told no one would work for minimum wage or under a certain amount. There were times when I had to walk to work, ride a bike to work and hitchhike to work(and my father did at his low points in life as well). I have had employees quit after hiring them because they couldn't find a ride to work when they lived a mere mile away.

But having said all that, there are families out there that truly need help. What touches me the most is the families that have children. I simply cannot bear the thought of a child going without the necessities of life, even the non-necessities, such as a present, toy or amusement. To me, even those are necessities! To grow means to expand your mind as well, and without the happy thoughts of playing with that special toy while young means just as much as not having a roof over your head.

That's why I do things that I never NEVER tell anyone. I have no desire to put the emphasis on my book selling or publicity when it comes to helping others. The only time I do so is to increase sales of an item to help raise funds, It's Just That SIMPLE! It's not about me and will never be.

And one more thing. I will always believe in the mantra, "If you don't have anything good to say, don't say anything at all!". Certainly opinions can never be controlled, nor should they ever be. But when someone employs their time demeaning others with no cause or spending their time trying to degrade, humiliate or otherwise harm someones integrity or life, I feel bad for them. Shouldn't they focus on doing good and helping others? The end result of the former is self-fulfillment in a twisted, ego maniacal way that shows that you think of yourself as "holier-than-thou", while the advantage of the latter is not only helping those in need and feeling good about yourself in a righteous way but it shows others that you have a heart, are level-headed and caring. Let's get our values together and stop thinking of ourselves as BLAMELESS.

If you want personal fulfillment, take the lead! There are things you can do that simply shows what kind of person you are. Pick up the phone and call someone you know has a "tough life" and simply talk to them. Get a $5 dollar card from a fast food restaurant and give it out to someone that's homeless. Go to a homeless shelter and offer your time or maybe pick up a few things to drop off at that same shelter. Buy an inexpensive bouquet of flowers to drop off at a nursing home. Ask them to give them to someone whose birthday or special event is at hand. If you are going to the park with your children, call a relative that doesn't have a vehicle but has children, and offer to bring those children along as well.

I am imploding with ideas as to how to help those less fortunate but I really can't spend all day telling you. Just stop and think. Do what you think is right and good. And always bear in mind that if you are fortunate to have a good life(and that doesn't mean rich...just have what you need is a good life) there are many that simply can't feed their kids. They can't take them to a park, they can't buy that special stuffed animal for that child or they can't seem to break that cycle.

 'Nuff said!

1 comment:

Liz said...

Well said and I agree with your Dad.. no one accepts responsibility anymore for their actions and would rather blame "the other guy"..